As signing
day approached and the attention of college football fans collectively turned
toward news of where the latest batch of four- and five-star recruits would sign
to play college football, I found myself more interested in a group of less
heralded high-school seniors:
Nebraska high schoolers who have acccepted the once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity to “walk-on” to the Nebraska football team.
All the talk
of Nebraska’s publicly renewed commitment to its
walk-on program got me thinking about my own experience as a walk-on
quarterback. What it meant to
me. How it forever changed the
trajectory of my life. What it
means to the young men who will share the same experience in the years to
come. What it means to the
Nebraska
football program. And what it means
to the entire state of Nebraska.
***
Aside from
my immediate family, my walk-on experience at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln
has impacted me more than any other person, event, or experience in my
life. Normally I am not one to
waste valuable column space talking about my own football career. Heck, considering I only played in three
games in my entire Husker career, never played more than two snaps in a single
game, never attempted a pass in an actual game, and my definining moment came in
the 2003 Red-White Spring Game when I was on the receiving head of a vicious hit
by Stewart Bradley that knocked off my helmet—there is not much to talk
about. But my experience as a
Cornhusker is worth sharing because it symbolizes the opportunity awaiting
future Husker walk-ons.
If playing
time served as the only criteria for judging a walk-on’s success, my career
would be considered a failure. But
the Husker walk-on experience is about far more than playing time. It is about
the people I met. The life lessons
I learned. Being a part of
something much greater than myself.
And the connection I felt, and always will feel, with the state of
Nebraska.
In comparing
my experience to present and future Husker walk-ons, the specifics (teammates,
coaches, and circumstances surrounding the program) inevitably will vary. Yet the general themes stay the
same.
First and
foremost, given the high-quality people that comprise all facets of Nebraska’s football
program, the walk-on experience provides an unparalleled opportunity to meet,
connect with, and learn from, fascinating people from all walks of life.
In my case,
it was teammates like Jammal Lord.
Jammal was raised in the rough-and-tumble Bronx area of New York City, and his
father was murdered when he was a young child. I grew up in a two-parent
household on a small farm 10 minutes north of Lincoln.
Despite our dramatically different backgrounds, Jammal and I formed an
incredibly close friendship. I will
always remember Jammal as one of the most sincere, compassionate, and uplifting
persons that I have ever met. The
greatest complement that I can give Jammal is that I am truly a better person
for having crossed paths with him.
The same is
true of my former teammate and lifelong friend Chad Sievers. I will never forget Chad’s performance against Kansas in 2002. Despite tearing his ACL on the opening
kickoff, Chad played the entire game. When I went to see him in the hospital
later that same day, the doctors expressed amazement at how Chad finished
game. What modern medicine could
not measure—but I knew full well having competed against Chad day-after-day on
the practice field—was Chad’s heart, toughness, intensity, and
competitiveness. Simply by being
himself (tough, competitive, intense, and confident) Chad raises the
level of energy and focus anytime he walks into room.
And
teammates like Josh and Daniel Bullocks, twin brothers who overcame humble
beginnings in Chattanooga,
Tennessee to fulfill their dreams
of playing in the NFL. Yet as good
as they are on the football field, they are even finer people. Both Josh and Dan are so thoughtful, so
caring, so genuine, and so humble.
These are not the words a person typically uses to describe professional
football players, but they are the first words that come to mind when I think
about the Bullocks brothers. Never
did I pass Josh or Dan in the hallway or around campus without them stopping to
have a meaningful conversation.
I was also
fortunate to learn about football and leadership under a number of great
coaches. Being the head football
coach at the University of Nebraska is the most visible and
scrutinized position in the state.
Each of the head coaches that I encountered uniquely balanced the many
facets of their job—a job that is actually many jobs (teacher, CEO, and
politician) all rolled into one—yet still managed to make a personal connection
with their players, even a little-used 3rd string quarterback like
me.
I will
always remember Coach Solich’s amazing ability to connect with his players on a
very personal level, inspire loyalty from his players, and instill toughness in
his team. On a more personal note,
I will be eternally grateful to Coach Solich for giving me the opportunity to be
a Nebraska
football player. And when I when I
was frustrated with my status on the depth and made the foolish, selfish, and
inmature decision to contemplate transferring to another school, I am eternally
grateful that Coach Solich welcomed me back with open arms.
As for Coach
Callahan, I wish more Nebraskans had known him like I did. He is one of the hardest working and
most intelligent individuals I have ever encountered. He is a life-long learner who was always
eager to learn from others and improve himself. Coach Callahan may not have won enough
games or connected well enough with the fan base to keep most Nebraskans happy,
but he should be remembered as a fundamentally good man who gave Nebraska’s football
program his best shot.
I spent only
one short year with Coach Pelini in 2003, but that was more than enough time to
develop an appreciation for his unique combination of charisma, intellect, and
ability to connect with people.
Political pundits often talk about the “it” factor. “It” is some combination of a personal
charisma and intangible qualities that inspires and motivates others. John F. Kennedy had an abundance of
“it.” Ronald Reagan had “it”
too. These days Barack Obama
appears seems to have more of “it” than any other politician. As far as football coaches go, Bo Pelini
has more of “it” than anyone I have ever encountered. Unlike Kennedy or Reagan whose charisma
could be detected after watching just a few moments of a speech, Coach Pelini’s
“it” factor cannot be easily measured or identified from the outside looking
in. But “it” is readily apparent to
anyone who has ever spent a significant amount of time around Coach Pelini. “It” is in the way he treats people on a
daily basis. “It” is the confident
swagger with which he conducts his daily affairs. “It” is in the way he builds
confidence in young men. Nebraska football’s
program is fortunate to have a coach with so much of “it.”
Do not let
all this talk of my high profile teammates and coaches confuse you; my walk-on
experience was influenced just as much, if not more, by people working behind
the scenes. Every fan reads about
the well-known coaches, players, and high-level administrators. For every one of those individuals,
there are 10 people working behind the scenes in and around the Athletic
Department. People like my academic
counselors: Keith Zimmer, Dennis LeBlanc, Alvin Banks, and Katie Zimmer. Seth Ristow the director of the
student-athlete’s computer lab.
Jerry Weber the long-time head athletic trainer. Kristi Reetz the director of the ticket
office. Bev Sundeen, the optimistic
and energetic hostess at the “Training Table.” Art McWilliams who—as head chef at the
Training Table—gave me four years of great food and fatherly advice. Mel Ulrich, the charming retired farmer
from West Point, Nebraska, who greeted me with a warm smile
each day as I walked into the Memorial Stadium complex. Boyd Epley, the legendary strength
coach. Chad Wade, the assistant
strength coach who always let me borrow his Lynyrd Skynyrd CDs. These people and
many more brought a smile to face each and every time I was fortunate enough to
encounter them. I have lived
elsewhere long enough to know that there are good, friendly, and welcoming
people wherever you go. Nebraska just seems to
have more of them.
In addition
to the wonderful people I met, I learned so many simple, yet valuable, life
lessons during my time as a Husker.
I cannot pretend to say that I learned all these lessons as I experienced
them. Like any college kid, I was
young and foolish and made my fair share of mistakes. But these life lessons have become
perfectly clear to me as I look back on my walk-on experience and its impact on
me.
Lessons
like: Only focus on the things under my control.
Given all
the uncertainy surrounding the Husker football program following Coach Solich’s
firing, this was a favorite saying of then-interim-Coach Bo Pelini in the days
leading up to the 2003 Alamo Bowl.
We could not control the fact that our beloved head coach had been fired
in route to a 10-3 season. We could not change the past. We could not control
what was being said in the media.
Nor could we impact Steve Pederson’s coaching search.
But we could
control our preparation, our focus, and our performance. So we focused on the next meeting, the
next practice, and ultimately our bowl game. By focusing only on things within our
control, we were able to block out countless distractions in route to an
impressive victory over Michigan State.
Admittedly,
the concept of focusing only on the things under our control and how it applies
to one’s life varies from person-to-person. But each of us faces challenges—perhaps
at work, in relationships, financially, what others say about us, or overcoming
past hardships—that are largely beyond our current control and would bog us down
if we let them dominate our thoughts.
Controlling one’s thought process is never easy. But we can all make a commitment to
focusing on things within our current control: the way we treat people, our work
habits, our focus, our determination, and our ability to overcome
adversity.
I also
learned that: Football—like life—frequently knocks you down. Success depends on whether you have the
courage, strength, and perseverance to get back up each and every time life
knocks you down.
My time as a
Husker helped me learn this lesson both literally and figuratively.
Literally,
because as a scout-team quarterback, each day in practice I played against the
likes of Chris Kelsay, Adam Carriker, Ryon Bingham, Demorrio Williams, Barrett
Ruud, Scott Shanle, Fabian Washington, Trevor Johnson, and Josh and Dan Bullocks
(all of whom still play on Sundays).
Never have I been hit so hard and so often. Yet I was able to earn a measure of
their respect, and not because I was particularly talented. Rather, I earned their respect simply
because I always got back up.
Symbolically, because the
walk-on experience is a microcosm of life: it is full of ups-and-downs. My walk-on experience had some great
times, some not so great times, and just about everything in between. Human nature makes it easy to be excited
about practice when you are playing well or just got promoted on the depth
chart. It becomes harder to carry
on with a positive attitude when you are buried on the depth chart, your
self-confidence is in the tank, and you just broke up with your girlfriend.
No matter
what the circumstances, you learn that the sun will always come up the next
morning. Each day, you go
meetings. You go to practice. You take your lumps and move on. You keep working. You keep fighting. Always believing that when your next
opportunity comes, you will be more prepared to seize the moment.
Another
invaluable life lesson that I learned was embracing diversity in its purest
form.
Politicans
(albeit some more than others) and educators talk about diversity. Corporate America holds
conferences about diversity and creates new positions such as “Directors of
Diversity.” Make no mistake: I
applaud the intentions of those committed to promoting diversity in today’s
society. But I cringe at what I
consider to be “manufactured diversity.”
Far removed
from this notion of “manufactured diversity”, college football players
experience diversity in its purest, most authentic form. Nebraska’s football roster consists of young men with
backgrounds ranging from rural Nebraska to
America’s most crime-infested inner
cities. As teammates, you live
together, hang out together, attend classes together, work out together,
practice together, and compete together in high-pressure games with 80,000 fans
in attendance.
Your
teammates, regardless of their background, become family. And you learn to embrace the opportunity
of learning about their varied backgrounds. For example, without my Nebraska
football experience (and more specifically without being assigned by the
professor to help my teammate Fabian Washington on a paper he was writing for
our Multi-Cultural Education Class)—how else could I have co-authored a paper
entitled: “The Differences Between Being a Black Man in Bradenton, Florida
versus Lincoln, Nebraska”?
Experiences
like these taught me not to walk on “egg shells” around people of different
colors and backgrounds. I learned
not to pretend like there are no differences between a white Nebraska farm-kid (like me) and a New York City kid of
Panamanian descent (like Jammal Lord) or a black kid from the deep South (like
Fabian Washington). We liked
different kinds of music. We had
different tastes in girls. We had
fundamentally different outlooks on life.
But, more
importantly, I learned that—white or black, city-kid or farm-boy, rich or
poor—something deep within our soul unites us all: the desire to love and be
loved by the people in our lives; and the desire to work hard and overcome
adversity in hopes of making our tomorrow brighter than today.
***
Since I last
put on my Husker uniform and as I reflect on how my walk-on experience impacted
me, my appreciation for the Husker fooball program and what it means to the
state has grown exponentially.
As a 19, 20,
and 21 year-old kid on the Nebraska football
team, it is easy to get lost in the everyday routine of being a Nebraska football
player. You go to class, go to
practice, lift weights, study in the evenings, and have a game every
Saturday. It is easy to take for
granted that more than 80,000 people, all dressed in red, show up for every home
games. When Nebraska football becomes
part of your everyday life, it becomes easy to lose sight of the program’s
magnitude.
No longer a
player and back to being a regular fan, my appreciation for the Nebraska football
experience has grown even more.
During the offseason, I (like fans from all walks of life) spend
countless hours discussing how next year’s team will be. During the season, I spend all week
leading up to the game discussing how we fare against our next opponent. I hang out on ‘O’ Street on Friday
nights before home games. I go to
tailgate parties before the game. I
watch the game from the student section.
It has been
a nice contrast. I was once a
player. Now I am back to
being what I always have been: a fan.
But my
experiences as a walk-on continued to guide me. Recognizing how much I benefited from
the Nebraska walk-on experience, I am thrilled
that an increased number of Nebraska kids will be given the same
opportunity that I was afforded.
Not only is Nebraska’s renewed
commitment to its walk-on program beneficial for the young men who will have the
opportunity to live out their dreams as Nebraska football players, it is good for the
football program and the entire state.
If you are a
high-school kid hoping to walk-on at the University of Nebraska or you are a parent, teacher, or coach
advising a young man contemplating his college options, let me reiterate that
Nebraska’s
walk-on experience is one that we want our young people to have.
A young man
who walks-on to play football at the University of Nebraska will be surrounded by great
people. He will have the
opportunity to receive a first-rate education with the help of an academic
support staff that is second to none.
He will have the opportunity to compete with and against some of the very
best athletes in our country, and play at very the highest level of college
football. He will be challenged
physically, intellectually, and emotionally. He will have the opportunity to play for
the most passionate and informed football fans in the country. He will have the honor of representing
an entire state whenever he puts on his helmet with the red ‘N’ on the
sides. And, because being a walk-on
football player at the University of Nebraska is an experience that leaves a
lasting imprint on all those who experience it, he will emerge a better and
stronger person.
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